Abundant Grace Fall 2014

Part Eight

Lexie's POV

Conversations buzzed all around me while the continual drone of rain beat against the window pane. Yet I heard nothing. It was as though the world was dead to me. I felt vacant inside; only able to stare into the blank space and toss the salt shaker back and forth. All the while, despondent thoughts whirled around in my head. “Why is this so hard for me to do?” I asked myself, struggling with what was about to transpire. “Why can’t I just voice what’s wrong? I can’t keep going on like this! I must—”

“Lexie,” he spoke softly, trying to lure me gently back to the present, causing my eyes to shift to meet his concerned ones. I furrowed my eyebrows, confusion masking my expression. As if reading my thoughts, he gave a small smile. “Have you decided what you’re going to order yet?” he asked as he gestured toward the menus. I hesitated slightly, causing him to raise an eyebrow before voicing slowly, “You...just want me to order our specialty?”

After I gave him a nod of approval, he signaled the waitress while I began to fumble with the salt shaker again. It wasn’t long before dad’s soft chuckle filled the air and his hand reached over to retrieve the wobbling salt shaker. “If you keep this up much longer, you’re going to burn a hole in their table,” my dad teased. Awkwardly, I gave a slight smile and shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what to say. Silence fell, and right away, I knew what was coming.

“I spoke with your mom the other day,” Dad said cautiously, watching me for a reaction. But I only bit my lower lip and held my breath, waiting for him to continue. He took my silence as a positive sign and went on to say, “She said it appears that you’ve been—struggling a little bit since I’ve been gone.”

“He’s beating around the bush!” I thought. Already, I was beginning to feel as though I were backed into a corner, rapidly causing my emotional walls to grow thicker. Totally faking it, I started to lie with, “I’m fine, really. It’s just stress.”

“Lexie,” he whispered urgently. While concern filled his eyes, he reached across the table for my hand, trying to gain my full attention. He added, sternness and compassion dripping heavily from each word, “For once, just tell me straight out, okay? We need to know. We are all worried about you.”

At that, a wave of mixed emotions swept over me, and I couldn’t look him in the eye anymore without feeling another piece of my hard interior crumbling. Raising a hand, I began to rub my throbbing temple and opened my mouth. However, the many words that were sitting on the tip of my tongue refused to come out.

Moments passed slowly before Dad finally gave a soft sigh and leaned back into his chair. He knew that I’d open back up to him when I was fully ready; it was only a matter of time.

“So,” he drawled, now trying to change the conversation to a lighter mood, “how has Ian been doing lately?”

“I—haven’t really spoken to him in awhile,” I answered truthfully, feeling a pang of guilt rush through me while I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. In the back of my mind, I knew exactly how long it had been since I’d had a decent conversation with Ian—two and a half weeks. Sure, I had seen him since then, but the atmosphere of our meetings had changed greatly.

It was then that our food arrived, and it couldn’t have been better timing. The aroma of hamburger patties and melted cheese surrounded our table. I breathed it all in as I stared at the full plate in front of me.

“Dig in,” my dad exclaimed as soon as he had blessed the food. I eyed my fat cheeseburger one more time before picking it up and taking a big bite. I closed my eyes at the blissful taste as it exploded in my mouth. “This is good,” I commented as I waved the burger slightly.

Grinning, he doused the edge of his hamburger in ketchup before taking a large bite, causing ketchup to smear across the side of his face. I tapped the side of my face, “You’ve got a little something there,” I chuckled.

He suddenly froze. “What is it?” I asked, handing him a napkin.

His grin grew as he said cheekily, “You just laughed.”

By now, a smile had implanted itself on my lips. For the first time in a long time, I had a feeling everything was about to change for the better.

Abundant Grace Summer 2014

Part Seven

I was left with my thoughts of yesterday; morning had come and gone, leaving behind rays of light cascading about. It was then, as I found myself pouring a second cup of coffee, that I decided to check on Lexie. I knew she had had another nightmare, for I had heard her crying out in her sleep. I wished I could help her somehow, someway; but she tended to put up shields of steel, preventing people from getting too close. The only one that had seemed able to break through this barrier was Ian, but now he didn’t seem to come around anymore. My heart was breaking as I was forced to watch from the sidelines as Lexie continued to live in this manner. When she was young, things had been different. We had used to live in harmony, but now all that holds our “family” together is nothing but a thin, unraveling thread.

When I reached Lexie’s door, I hesitated. An all-too-familiar silence greeted me. Softly, I pushed the door open, hoping that the hinges wouldn’t protest. As the hallway’s light cast beams into her darkened room, they revealed my forlorn daughter lying curled up in the fetal position. Her eyebrows were drawn tightly together, and her lower lip quivered, causing soft whimpers to escape from her mouth. I sighed heavily and quickly closed the door, pausing as I leaned against it. I had promised her that I would not do anything about this: the insomnia, the nightmares, the unhealthy eating habits. But if I didn’t do something soon, what would that classify me as? People say a promise is a promise regardless of the circumstances, but when someone loves unconditionally, would it not be better to break your word than watch a person hurt themselves again and again? It would take only one phone call to elicit help... Without a doubt, whether this was right or wrong, I thumbed through my phone’s contact list, stopping when the name appeared.

“Good morning, this is Dr. Randle’s office,” the receptionist answered. “How may I assist you?”

“Hello,” I greeted softly, taking a step away from Lexie’s bedroom. “This is Anna Gunzila. By chance, is Dr. Randle available?”

“Yes. One moment please, Mrs. Gunzila. I will transfer your call.”

“Thank you.”

I had to wait only a moment before the line was reconnected. “Hello, Anna? Is everything all right?”

“Ye-” I started to stammer, but stopped before continuing. “No, Aaron...to be truthful, it isn’t. I have already spoken to my husband, Greg, regarding this, and he requested me to call you only as my last resort. As an old family friend, we now need your help more than ever.”

Silence hung in the air before Aaron breathed, “This is concerning Lexie, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but how did you-”

He gave a soft chuckle, “My son, Ian, has already informed me regarding bits and pieces. The poor lad is totally beside himself. Apparently, the two of them are on the “outs” at the moment, for Lexie has been ignoring him over the past week or so.”

I winced, “Hmmm, at least Greg and I aren’t the only ones receiving the cold shoulder.”

“This is not like her, Anna.”

“I agree,” I said without hesitating. “Maybe if she were only acting this way toward us, her parents, we would say that it was an act of rebellion, but Ian too? For the life of us, neither Greg nor I can find the source of this...major issue.”

Aaron sighed, “Well, something has to be triggering Lexie in order for her to be reacting this way.”

I bit my lip, debating whether or not I should request this. Ready to reap any future consequences, I took a deep breath and went on to say, “Maybe, if I bring her in for an appointment, we might be able to get the answers we seek?”

“What kind of answers?” he drawled out, not truly following where this was all heading.

“Answers to why she is having nightmares every night!” I began to gush. “Why she hasn’t been eating-”

“Wait,” Aaron cut in. “She’s not eating?” I hesitated slightly, “No. Well, not much anyway.”
“Bring her tomorrow morning at nine. I will speak to her then.”

I closed my eyes, gratitude filling my heart, “Thank you, Aaron.”

“Anytime,” he replied sincerely before saying goodbye.

As I echoed my own goodbye and disconnected the call, I raised a hand to wipe away a stream of tears. Then, I took a deep breath before turning around, only to freeze in my tracks.

With perspiration running down her ashen face, Lexie stumbled back a step, shaking her head in disbelief. “Mom,” she whispered hoarsely, “you broke your promise.”

Abundant Grace Spring 2014

Part Six

The room was dark, the air tense, unsettling. Already, fear had engaged itself deep in my heart. I was tired and chilled to the bone, huddled in a corner, shaking like a leaf in the midst of a fierce storm. All the while, raspy voices surrounded me, whispering in my ear, “Alone you are, deep in darkness, where no light can ever exist. Here you shall reside, forever in this black, forbidden pit.
“Please, nooo!” I cried out, bolting upright in my bed, my chest rising and falling. I drew in a shaky intake of breath, realizing it was yet another nightmare. By now, unwanted tears welled behind my eyelids, making me close my eyes. Licking my dry lips, trying to force the tears away, I re-opened my eyes, only to stare straight ahead, drawing a blank. With a sigh, I glanced at the clock: 1:13 a.m.
With one swift movement, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and pushed myself off, refusing to go back to sleep, knowing the nightmares would only return. With my mind made up, I trudged toward the door, opening it quietly, hoping that a refreshing drink would calm me down. It was then, as I stood at the top of the stairs with my hand resting on the railing, that I heard muffled voices. I froze, curiosity growing within.
I crept slowly toward my mom’s bedroom before placing my ear against the door, listening carefully. Then, pushing it open slightly, I peeked in, spying my mom sitting in a chair, her back to me. I could see her reflection in the window.
“I just don’t know what to do, Greg.” She spoke softly, her phone resting in her lap, hinting that the incoming caller was on speaker phone. “She barely eats a handful at each meal, she gets less than three hours of sleep each night due to nightmares... I—it just seems that she is so unhappy. Depressed even...What if it is my—” “Anna, don’t say that,” my father cut in sternly. Before silence fell between them, he added more gently, “It is not your fault.”
My mom then raised her hand, anxiously running it through her hair. “Who’s to blame?” she whispered, as a single tear graced her cheek. “Greg, please...can’t you see how much this is hurting me?”
“This is hurting me just as much as you,” my father sighed heavily. “Even though I am not there now, that does not mean I don’t care about you or Lexie.” My heart froze at the mention of my name as he continued saying, “We are still a family. Even though I am halfway across the United States, away from you guys, that will never change. Do you understand that?”
“Of course,” Mom voiced. Then continuing in a subdued tone, she added, “I understand that it’s your job that causes you to work so many hours...but truly, when was the last time you were home for more than two days?”
“Anna, that’s not—”
“What, Greg? What’s not fair?” she choked back. “What’s not fair is that you’re always away on business. It’s hard enough to go through all of this with Lexie. Alone.”
Dad exclaimed then, empathy dripping from his words, “Sweetie, Darling, no. Please don’t ever think that you are alone in this! God will always be with you.” His voice suddenly grew quieter as he sincerely stated, “As will I, till death do us part.”
At that, a gentle, adoring smile tugged at the corners of my mom’s lips, resting there briefly, before disappearing completely. She then countered, “That still doesn’t solve the problem at hand. What do I do with Lexie? I can’t bear to watch as she
continually puts herself through this. It’s not like her at all. Anger just seems to be radiating from her constantly. Greg...she needs you.”
Dad sighed, “I know... But in the meantime, give her some time, Anna, and pray for her, earnestly. Only God can intervene.”
“You’re right,” she mused quietly.
“Aren’t I always?” Dad teased.
Mom laughed, her eyes illuminated, “Perhaps, but I thought I was the one who is always right.”
“Well,” my dad drawled out, “that’s debatable.”
“Mmm, got me there...” Mom continued to tease until a comfortable silence fell.
Seconds later, breaking the stillness, my dad said compassionately, “Anna, I love you.”
Tears of happiness filled her eyes as she echoed, “I love you too, Greg.” But catching sight of the time, she added reluctantly, “It’s late, and you have work tomorrow.”
“Ah, that’s life.”
Mom shook her head, a smile remaining on her lips, “Byyye, Greg,” she voiced in a sing-song manner.
“Bye, Anna,” Dad bid farewell.
With that, a click filled the air, indicating that the call had been disconnected. I remained frozen in place hiding behind the door. My heart felt heavier than ever. As a single tear slid down my cheek, I felt a part of my hard outer shell crumble. Then, into the darkness, I whispered softly, “What is wrong with me?”

Abundant Grace Winter 2013

Part Five

“What was he thinking?” I seethed while trudging down the abandoned street. "It's not even like he had to lie," I continued to fume, realizing that Ian wasn't the person who I had thought he was. Now he was gone, all because he chose to keep the secret of his faith in God. It seemed just like yesterday when everything had been perfect, or so I had thought. Already, my life appeared to be on the decline while roots of bitterness entwined my heart.

Within seconds, a wave of fury swept over me as an aggravated cry escaped from my lips. Using my rage, I kicked a tin can and stood there, watching it as it crashed into a nearby trash bin.

“Just breathe, Lexie! Inhale, exhale,” I admonished myself, knowing that I had to calm down before I did something I would come to regret.

It was then that I became aware of the vibration in my pocket. Grabbing my phone, I glanced at the caller ID, my eyes widening. “What in the world?" I growled through gritted teeth, debating whether or not to answer it. With hesitation, I slid my finger across the screen, accepting the incoming call. “You have five. Use it wisely.”

“Hey, Sweetie,” my dad exclaimed, seeming unfazed by my blunt greeting. “How’s it going?”

“What do you want?” I ground out, clenching my backpack strap tightly.

He chuckled softly, seeming amused by my brash behavior. “Lexie, can’t I call my own daughter every now and then?”

“No,” I answered deadpan.

It was then that a soft intake of breath came from his end of the line before he continued, “So how’s senior year? Keeping up your grades, I hope!”

I replied, “I’m sorry, but is this your version of small talk? In fact, is there a particular reason why you called?”

“Well,” he drawled out, “I was going to see if you wanted to meet me and have lunch. I have something I have been meaning to talk—“

“Uh-uh,” I interrupted before he could finish.

A brief silence filled the air. “Lexie, please," he sighed, "I’m really trying here!”

I exclaimed, tired of playing this game, “Then do yourself a favor and stop!”

“Lexie, I—“

“No, Dad!” I snapped, hostility brewing within. “Do you realize that when you left Mom, you left me as well?"

"I didn't leave you guys!" he began to say firmly. "Your mother and I agreed that it would be best if we separated."

"Dad, the key word here is L-E-F-T," I interjected bluntly.

I could envision him narrowing his eyes as he replied, "No, I mean separated. Lexie, we surely needed a break, just long enough to figure things out."

"Do you mean time away from Mom, to see if you still love her?"

"No! I will always love your mom! She is—"

"Then why did you leave?" I whispered.

He sighed, hurt consuming his words, "Sweetie, what must I say to make you understand that I didn't leave you?"

I fell silent, tears threatening to spill from the corners of my eyes, feeling as though my exterior wall was beginning to crumble.

"Lexie," Dad spoke softly, as if afraid to break the silence. "Honey, just give me a chance. I promise everything will be okay. God's abundant grace will help us pull through this trial! You'll see."

It took only a total of two seconds for his words to register, possibly softening my heart. "You know what, Dad?" I asked in a tired tone. "I actually have to go. So, umm, g-goodbye."

"Okay, Sweetie. Remember, I love you, and so does God," he said sincerely.

Upon hearing those words, I bit my lip before saying quietly, "Yeah, I know." And that was the end of our conversation. I took a deep breath, pushed open the back door to my house and was welcomed by the smell of fried chicken.

My mom greeted me with, "Hey, Sweet Pea! You will never guess who I ran into—" Stopping in mid-sentence, she caught sight of my countenance and asked with concern filling her eyes, "What's wrong?"

I debated whether or not I should tell her. With my mind made up, I gave a half smile, raised my phone and waved it slightly. "Dad just called me."

Instantly, true understanding surfaced. Cautiously, she approached me, wrapping her loving arms around me, and we stood there hugging each other. For once, for the first time in a very long time, something felt normal.

Abundant Grace Fall 2013

Part Four

It was during last period when I finally excused myself from the classroom, pleading a headache. However, in truth, I just could not stand the thought of being in that enclosed room one more second. At that moment, everything was putting me on edge: from the teachers’ useless rantings to the classmate behind me who was constantly tapping a pencil on his desk. Two simple words can clearly describe how I felt—utterly annoyed.

Now I found myself aimlessly roaming the narrow hallways, the sound of my footsteps bouncing off the walls. With each step I took, I drifted a little bit further into my own little world, growing more and more confused. It seemed as though all I could think of were those last words Ian had uttered to me earlier, “I will never abandon you...and neither will God.” To say the least, as soon as those words had registered in my mind, I had instantly felt more abandoned and quite alone. After that, it was only a short time before I had completely shut down Ian, closing off all contact. Now I was trying to avoid him at all cost. I had decided that if by chance we met anytime in the future, I would simply act as if I had never, ever known him. First it was my dad, then my mom; and now my best friend, Ian, was just admitting that he too believed in God!

With my jaw muscles tensing, I gripped my backpack’s straps more tightly, trying to still my shaking hands. “Why am I feeling like this?” I whispered, “Why?” It was then that I broke free from these troubling thoughts as a nearby door slammed shut and heavy footsteps echoed off the walls behind me. “Lexie!” he called out, but I ignored him and quickly picked up my pace, focusing on the nearest exit. “Will you wait up for a sec?” he pleaded.

“Almost there! Just a few more steps,” I thought as my hand was just a few inches away from touching the door handle. “Just a few—”

“Lexie, stop!” Ian growled through clenched teeth. He yanked me to a complete stop. Facing me completely, he murmured lowly, “I thought I told you to stop...”

Okay, if he wanted to play that card, then fine. I narrowed my eyes and said in a too sweet voice, “And I thought that I told you earlier to leave me alone. Clearly you didn’t get the message!” At my response, Ian furrowed his eyebrows and exploded with, “For Pete’s sake! What is wrong with you? You have been acting like this all day!”

“Nothing is wrong with me!” I cried.

At that, he looked me dead in the eye, not believing a single word I had just spoken, “You’re fine?” he said as if it were a joke.

I hesitated slightly before answering softly as I stared hard at the floor, “Yes.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me all day? Was it something that I said? Something I did?” he exclaimed in an exasperated tone.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I struggled for the words, “I...I...”

Ringgggggg. The last bell sounded just as the classroom doors swung open and crowds of students came pouring out. I let a sigh of relief escape through my lips as the hallway quickly filled with students scurrying all around us, trying to navigate to an exit or their lockers. I yelled above the crowd, “I have to go.”

With one last glance toward Ian, I disappeared into the crowd and slipped out the door only to be welcomed by a cold blast of air hitting my face. With my heart heavy, I started the long trek home, longing for someone to understand, to listen. But there was no one...no one.

With my heart heavy,

I started the long trek home,

longing for someone to understand, to listen.

But there was no one...no one.

Abundant Grace Summer 2013

Part Three

I was lost deep in thought while I stood on the curb waiting for the school bus to arrive. I had so many emotions as I kept replaying the recent occurrences in my head, causing me to be in my own little world. When the bus pulled in, I barely took note of my new surroundings. Putting one foot in front of the other, I stepped onto the bus and kept my gaze down until I came to an empty seat. I slid into the cushions and pulled my hood down, trying to hide my face.

Laughter erupted around me from other students on the bus. Their faces, showing varying emotions, silently revealed hidden stories. I briefly sighed before reverting back into my inner thoughts. Someone sat down beside me and uttered, “What’s with you?”

I couldn’t help but glare as I grumbled, “Nothing.”

He grinned and poked my arm teasingly, “Liar!”

“I’m not—” I argued.

“Whatever, Lexie!” he teased playfully. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“Ian,” I growled, “If you treasure your life, then I kindly suggest that you leave me alone!”

Ian chuckled as he continuously poked my arm, “Aw, did someone miss their morning coffee?”

Narrowing my eyes to thin slits, I voiced lowly while slapping his hand away, “Ian. I’m. Not. In. The. Mood.”

At this, his face fell as he leaned forward, holding my gaze. For the next eight seconds, we didn’t move or utter a single word. Starting to shift uncomfortably, I quickly turned away, unable to look at him anymore.

“Lexie, please,” Ian spoke softly, “Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.”

Ignoring him, I distanced myself even further. I couldn’t bring myself to explain. Even though this was important to me, it might seem pointless to others.

Ian sighed. “Lexie,” he mumbled as he leaned forward to see my face. When our eyes met, I could see concern clouding his visage.

“Look—” I started to say, biting my upper lip. “He wouldn’t understand! So why tell him?” a voice seemed to whisper throughout my thoughts.

My mind was made up as I shook my head, unwilling to face him. “I’m sorry... It’s just—It’s just that my dad invited my mom to go to church with him, and she agreed to go.”

Wanting to watch his reaction closely, I paused and sent a glance his way. But before he was able to voice a word, I suddenly blurted out, “Um, never mind. Just forget it.” With my cheeks tinged pink, I abruptly turned away from Ian yet again.

“Lexie,” he voiced gently, “please look at me.” Seconds ticked by before I slowly dragged my eyes to meet his. “Look, I don’t exactly understand how you feel, but what’s the harm with just giving your mom’s offer a shot?”

That caught my attention! He has to be joking, right? He’s my best friend, and he is telling me that I should give all this God stuff a chance?

“Ian! I’m not sure that you’re truly grasping my situation! You know what? Forget it! You simply don’t understand where I’m coming from!”

“Lexie, please—”

“NO! Ian, listen! Just leave me alone,” I whispered as a feeling of exhaustion suddenly swept over me. And with that, I lowered my hood over my eyes and slid further into the seat. Staring into space, shutting everything and everybody out. I leaned my head against the steel edge of the bus and closed my eyes.

“She’s guilty! Guilty!” my inner voice screamed. My eyes flew open as my breathing turned ragged. Feeling anxious, I forced myself to take deeper breaths. As Ian tapped my shoulder, trying to gain my attention, I swiveled my head in his direction. But I quickly turned away again and stared at the floor, all the while muttering, “I’m fine, Ian. Just leave me alone.”

Ian observed me closely, “Lexie...” he whispered. He placed a comforting hand on my forearm as he said softly, “I will never abandon you. And neither will God.”

Abundant Grace Spring 2013

Part One

The beginning of the nightmare of my life...

As if it were all playing out in slow motion, everything began to evolve in front of my eyes. One by one, the members of the jury stood to their feet with one purpose firmly planted in their hearts and minds. It was quite clear that their only goal was to rid themselves of me forever. All it took was a single glance in their direction to confirm my worst fears. I immediately knew that they truly despised me from the deepest parts of their evil hearts. Pure hatred was etched across each hardened face as they pointed their accusing fingers. In unison, the jury began to yell, "She’s guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty as charged!"

Hearing this, my heart fell. I began to realize my path was doomed. An endless stream of cold tears ran down my flushed cheeks. Broken, I stood there feeling their piercing eyes staring at me. It pained me to know that I was completely rejected by all those surrounding me.

With horror, I pleaded earnestly as I fell to my knees, "NO! NO! I'm innocent! Innocent! Please!" My shoulders began to shake violently as I continued begging, "NO! I'm innocent! You hear me, innocent! I have done nothing wrong! Please believe me!’"

But it was no use, for my desperate pleas fell on deaf ears. The sneering jury, my peers, and the glaring judge looked down upon me, unaffected by my protests. With hearts as cold as stone, the jury heartlessly professed once again, "She’s guilty! Guilty! Guilty as charged!"

Soon, the room erupted into turmoil. Finally, the judge raised his hand, quieting everyone in the room. He cleared his throat loudly and announced with a disgusted look of wrath, “I hereby proclaim that this defendant, Lexie Gunzila, has chosen her own fate by her choices and actions! She has been found guilty. The verdict is that she must spend eternity in the Black Cell!” And with that, the wooden gavel came crashing down onto the judge’s sound block causing an echo to reverberate throughout the austere courtroom.

A loud cry sounded from my throat, and before I could interject another plea, two officers roughly grabbed my arms and yanked me to my feet. As they dragged me down the hallway, I begged and beseeched, "No, this has to be a mistake! Please! Someone help me!" Slowly, I shut my eyes. A single tear rolled down my cheek, hitting the stone pathway leading to the desolate cell awaiting me.

With a quick and sudden start, I jerked upright in my bed. I let a soft scream erupt from my lips. My chest was rising and falling, and I labored to catch my breath. All the while, my azure-blue eyes darted about madly, looking for something— anything—out of place. I soon decided everything was in its rightful place. Sweat soaked my t-shirt, and my sheets were wrapped tightly around me from my fitful sleep. Slowly bringing a hand to my forehead, I closed my eyes and breathed a shaky sigh of relief. I silently slipped back beneath the comforter and, trying to reassure myself, whispered softly, "It was just a dream. Just a...dream."

"She’s guilty! Guilty!

Guilty as charged!"

Part Two

"Beep, beep, beep," sounded in the distance causing me to stir slightly. I groaned softly and flipped over onto my stomach, all the while dreaming of wild flowers dancing in a gentle breeze, sweeping over the gentle plains. Muted colors were moving slowly in my mind drawing me into a deeper slumber. It all seemed so relaxing, so blissful, so—"Beep, beep, beep!" my alarm clock echoed faster with each beep. Startled by the interruption, I bolted upright in my bed. Fumbling sleepily, I tried to locate the alarm clock, wanting to chuck it across the room to silence it forever. Not being successful, I couldn't help but grumble, "Where is it for Columbus Pete’s sake?!"

Just then my arm connected with something, and with a single forceful sweep, the clock skidded across the nightstand and fell to the floor. Once again, silence filled the air. With a sigh of contentment, I pulled the blankets up to my chin as I mumbled, "At last, peace and quiet."

But not even thirty seconds had passed when I heard my mom calling from the foot of the stairs, "Lexie! Breakfast is ready!"

Upon hearing her, I couldn't help but moan and bury my face in my pillow. I was clearly not ready to start the day. "Just a few more minutes," came my muffled reply.

"Lexie," my mom exclaimed sternly, "the bus will be here in less than thirty minutes! You'll be late for sure if you don't hurry!"

Realization suddenly hit home, so I quickly jumped out of bed making a fast beeline for the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, I emerged from my room with my backpack casually slung over my shoulder and headed downstairs to grab a bite to eat.

"Hey, Honey! Did you sleep well?" my mom asked without looking up as she dug through the kitchen drawers for a utensil. I sarcastically chuckled softly, "Not really."

At that, my mom froze and sent a worried look my way. She briefly searched my face and then inquired quietly, "It was another nightmare, wasn't it?"

Now I wished I hadn't said anything in the first place. I hated it when she did this. I hesitated slightly before nodding my head to confirm her suspicions.

Mom bit her bottom lip and began to say, "Maybe we should—"

“I’m fine, Mom!” I snapped. “They are just nightmares. It’s no big deal.” But as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted saying them. She gave her usual single nod and silently turned back to finish her task.

An awkward silence hung in the air making me shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Wanting an excuse to leave, I grabbed an apple and headed toward the door muttering, "Gotta go! See you later, Mom!"

"Wait!" my mom exclaimed as she quickly turned to face me.

With my hand on the doorknob, I paused, waiting for her to finish whatever she was going to say.

"Lexie," she began slowly, toying with a dishtowel in her hands."Your father... well...he asked me to go to church with him this Sunday."

At that, my mouth fell open, and I swiveled my head around to face her. Thinking this was just a joke, I questioned, "You’re kidding, right?" But the look on her face told me otherwise. I exclaimed, "Mom! What did you tell him?"

She took a deep breath before answering, "I, umm, I told him that I would like to go."

Hearing her honest answer, I could only stare hard at the kitchen wall, grinding my teeth.

With hurt clouding her eyes, my mother pleaded, "Now I'm asking you if you would like to go with us?"

I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and declare, a bit too hastily, "No, thanks!"

"Are you sure?" she whispered softly.

"Yes!" I literally exploded and cried, "Mom, do you honestly believe in all this God stuff?"

One look at her face told me the answer to my question before I heard her reply. Finally, she voiced quietly, "Yes, I'm starting to."

Before storming out of the house, I shook my head in disbelief and feeling as though she too were abandoning me.

"Beep, beep, beep!"

my alarm clock echoed faster

with each beep.