Ruth Stewart Fajfr was a woman of tremendous strength and vitality. She labored tirelessly in evangelism throughout Eastern Europe alongside her husband, James Stewart. Ruth edited numerous works by her husband about his might ministry of seeing thousands saved and about the wonderful truths of the Holy Spirit yet her biography records her quiet struggle with truths her husband seemed to grasp more easily. In this excerpt, she shares some of her thoughts during a time of spiritual crisis.
I was not long married to James Stewart before I began to manifest a bad reaction to things that upset me and threw me into either a temper or a sulky mood. And to pour oil on the fire, my dear husband would quietly say to me, "Claim the victory, Dear!" That was not the response I had desired from him, and besides, I did not know what he meant by those words. I had never heard them before, but somehow I felt he was saying I should straighten up--without his doing anything about comforting me. (And actually, he was, but it was for my own good and the only answer to my need.) I was not even sure I wanted "the victory." What was there in life if one surrendered his right to himself--his right to feel sorry for himself and to claim all kinds of consideration from others? What was the fun of going about getting victory over hurts and slights and the like without some pampering of the flesh?
I used to sit and listen to James preach about the person and work of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer, and my heart would long for that freedom in the Spirit which he was enjoying. But another part of me argued, "Yes! And if I were the head of this marriage, I would be carefree too. Just give me the reins for awhile and I would soon be telling him to 'get the victory'--whatever that means."
A couple of months after we were married, we attended a convention where I began to hear messages of personal and practical victory in life by the power of the Holy Spirit. I heard much about the need of being controlled by the Spirit each moment of the day just to "keep sweet." I began to hunger for this life of liberty in the Spirit...But I believe that the very first time I uttered a secret cry to the Lord for the Holy Spirit to work in my life, He began to work. He began to overturn and overturn, and pull the heavy furniture from the walls of my heart and turn up the rugs and open all the doors to my secret closets until I began to see and to be shocked at what I saw. Then I began to abhor what I recognized as the evil intents of my own heart. Really, it was a nest of snakes He turned out of my "inner man." began to understand why Paul prayed for the Ephesians that they would be "strengthened"--or infused or permeated through and through--by His Spirit in the inner man, in order that Christ might settle down and be at home in their hearts. (Ephesians 3:16-17) It is the Holy Spirit Who prepares the heart for the Lord Jesus to move in and take full control and then, the Spirit does not spare us in the process of preparation. How faithful He is in His work of cleansing and of renewing as He applies to our hearts the death which our Lord wrought for us on Calvary.
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